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Voices From
Victims of Grief
This is a letter of "HOPE" to anyone out there that has faced the fears, challenges and despair of having a loved one incarcerated.
My daughter has been in V.S.P.W. in Chowchilla, CA. since two months past her 18th birthday. She is 20 now and still facing two more years. Many are the nights I still lie awake and have wondered, "How could this happen to us?" My beautiful little Carri Ellen behind bars. It has been heart-wrenching and very painful.
The brighter side of all this is, she earned her G.E.D. and qualified for college correspondence courses which she is currently enrolled in. She also qualified for educational programs, such as Automotive, which was not her first choice, but all that was available. Prior to that she also worked in Culinary. Now she is taking Horticulture and is qualified to install sprinkler systems. The head instructor was so impressed with her that he asked her to draw up the architectural designs for a special project and install it herself. By the end of the year she will be certified in all aspects of landscaping.
I believe Carri Ellen symbolizes the fortitude and ability to overcome obstacles in a criminal sub-culture. She is living proof that rehabilitation can take place, with the love and support of family members. That means "never giving up" on them. That also includes encouraging them to participate in some type of a work-related program to learn skills as well as occupy their time. They can also earn a small income on their books.
As a result of her efforts, she will be released to a half-way house six months prior to her original out-date. Normally, felons do not qualify for that. She has been a model-prisoner as well as exercising her intellect and potential.
I no longer let the side-glances and whispers of gossip affect my life. I love my daughter and I have stood by her side in spite of comments like, "You make her too comfortable" or "Why does she need money?" People just don't comprehend what it must be like to go without the simple creature comforts we all take for granted. To stand in line for two hours in the heat or cold, just to eat. To wait for a Dr. appointment when you are too sick to stand up. To share one room with eight women, eat, breathe and sleep with them without one moment of privacy. People still speculate, "Well, they should have thought about that in the first place." There may be some truth in that for all of us, at one time or another in our lives. But one thing is for sure------just as little pets rely on us, we would not leave them out in a rainstorm or in the intense heat unless of course, we were heartless. And if someone could do that, would they not treat their own flesh and blood, a human being with thoughts, feelings and fears the same way?
We all need, want and deserve some form of dignity to sustain us in time of need. The rewards will be far greater than the time we spend wondering how or why this happened to US.
So many women at V.S.P.W. do not even receive letters, packages
or money on their books. A scrap of soap becomes a luxury. For some, it
is a revolving door----many times because they simply have no place to
go and no one who even cares what happens to them. A quarterly care package
provides the inmates with food, clothing and hygiene's. It also means
they might not have to stand in line on a very hot or miserably cold day.
To Carrie's mom: Because you have cared and encouraged your daughter through
this ordeal, she will surely come out a better person. I am pleased to
hear that she has received further education. This will give her something
good to strive for and more confidence that she can make it when returning
home. I wish you both good luck!
~~deathrowsister
